What's a sister got to do to get some pudding around here?

There's this give it get it philosophy that i've just recently picked up. I had my epiphany yesterday during the hustle and bustle of maccabiah, where campers over-exert themselves and staff do just the opposite . People depend on each others' energy to keep things circulating. It's weird how drastically and rapidly mood swings take place, especially at camp. The 24/7 contact with people makes every day so much busier, hence we have these unpredictable emotional changes that should be occurring throughout a week, but all have to fit in between flag and curfew. Throughout this past week of concentrated camp fun, i would unfailingly encounter a feeling that i can only describe as removed every day. No matter how good of a mood i was in, or how little contact i would have with certain people or even people all together, something would always trigger this removed persona. It's like one moment i would be in a situation, and the next i would we watching it, thinking "do i even need to be here?". The more i connected this feeling with certain activities, times of the day, and people, the more those things would push me away. I set out on an i hate so and so rampage thinking they were the ones ostracizing me, but not until much later did i realize that i was doing it to myself. If i take a second to really seperate myself from a situation and see it as an outsider, the way i would respond to people when i felt uninportant was to withdraw or simply leave when they came around. But by leaving i left no lasting impression on them, i didn't show them that i was physically there, and they would have no reason to think that i was a vital part of that situation. It's like if i feel like people think i'm useless, my self-pitying attitude will make people treat me like i can't do anything on my own, which just verifies the previous belief. Even if that's not how they would originally felt, my energy affects theirs. It's all one vicious cycle of worthlessness. Upon discovering that i'm an idiot (that was my rational conclusion), i have hereby decided to follow the golden rules of power of positive thinking. So far so good. Now i wonder if this practice will work for getting pudding for dessert...